Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Bachelor # 2...I was wrong. It's *not* me...and it *is* you

     Can someone....ANYONE please tell me where it is written that if you go on (1) one date with someone, that you're to profess your feelings for the other party and then proceed to plan the rest of your days with them? ANYONE??? Please....tell me where the dating rules have changed, that way I can know that it 'is me' who don't know how to date like a normal person.
     One date down with Bachelor # 2 and I get the 'follow-up' text from him the next day stating how much fun he had. Which was great, because I had had a nice time too and was going to text him to tell him I had enjoyed myself. So the day proceeds and we share a few texts back and forth. Then the next day comes, and my phone is bombarded with texts from Bachelor # 2 and he starts asking me what time do I finish work, and if he could see me that night or the next night. I had told him that I was not looking to rush in to any kind of relationship, and wanted to take things slow the night before. Somehow this did not feel like taking it slow....and with this...I started to feel like a wild animal trapped, trying to escape.
     Next thing I know, Bachelor # 2 starts with the term's of endearment...calling me 'baby'. Not that I have anything against using pet names for your honey, but after ONE DATE...being called 'baby' seems a bit much. When I tell Bachelor # 2 I have a meeting that night and can't meet, he wants to get together that night at 9pm. What is there to do at 9pm, for a second date? I decline and he seemed okay with it.
     Last Friday, which is three days after we first met he starts with the texts yet again while I am at work...and I try to gracefully back out of this dating scenario for several reasons (1) he is naked-photo dude from my past, and (2) he is becoming very needy and smothering. Below you get to expierence the texts which took place over 48 hours and he just gets more time-demanding, and weird. And the whole part where he asks for my last name.....PEOPLE he WENT and FRIEND REQUESTED me on FaceBook when he said he would not do so! I bring you 'The Text Files w/ Bachelor # 2'
Bachelor # 2:I wish you went going to be in jersey for Halloween. I would love to spend it 
with you.
Me:Want to come to NJ with me? I kinda committed myself there. But on 10/22 have a e:
party here for Halloween if you'd like to join me
Bachelor # 2:How long will you be down in JK for? I'm off the 22nd, so I can do that
Bachelor # 2:Jk what?You were kidding? Boo
Me:Noooooooooo. You asked how long I'd be down in JK. Did u mean NJ?
Bachelor # 2:Yeah, I ment NJ...sorry worries. I had no idea where I was 'going' it'll be an overnight trip
Bachelor # 2:Where are you staying?
Me:At my friend's house. Not sure if I'm staying at jen's or dan&phils
Bachelor # 2:Would I be sleeping on the couch?
Me:I have no idea where I'm sleeping there lol
Bachelor # 2:Lol
(I do not respond as I am busy at work)
Bachelor # 2:So, were would I sleep the? or would I just get a
Me:Slow your roll bucko lol we don't even know if we'll want to sleep in the same 
Bachelor # 2:So, think you might want to hang out tonight? If 9 isn't to late for you
Me:Can I let you know later? I have a horrific headache and just got home so am 
going to pop some advil  and try to rest. My phone is charging so I can 
still text
Bachelor # 2:No problem baby. I can give you a sholder massage. Might help it
Bachelor # 2:How are you feeling hun?
Me:(Really?!? BABY & HUN AFTER JUST 1 DATE???)I'm going to have to pass up tonight. It's gone in to a migraine. So sorry
Bachelor # 2:Don't worry about it. Just feel better so your ok for work tomorrow
Me:Ty...have a good night
Bachelor # 2:So, what are you doing today?
Me:Working until 2 then work tonight. Have to go shopping for stuff for my aunt's 
b-day party this weekend. Bachelor # 2 (however I did use his name) ....I don't think I'm going to be free to date 
ANYONE with my work schedules and my other obligations right now. And I don't 
want to waste your time finding someone who is avail for you cuz you're a great 
guy. But I would like us to stay in touch if that's ok w/ you?
Bachelor # 2:...oh It is what it is....
Me:I'm sorry, in fact I am taking myself off the site today since I realized how 
limited my time is
Bachelor # 2:Ok...
Guess ill see you around then....
Me:If you would still like to come to party on 10-22 that'd be awesome
Bachelor # 2:If you want me to.
Me:YES I do! I'm not kicking you to the curb....I just realize that right now me w/ 
anyone isn't fair to them
Bachelor # 2:I so like you, so you will have to forgive me. I'm a little hurt
Well, I'm going to be honest with you. I feel like we would be good together. I 
haven't connected with someone like I have with you. Ever if we only see 
eachother once a week for now, ill be happy with that.
(And there was the pathetic begging and guilt-trip)
Me:Plz don't be hurt. It has nothing to do with you. It has to do w/ me having 
limited personal time. I work 2 jobs and care for my aunt who has dementia (the 
beginnings). I don't want to string you or anyone along making plans and only 
being able to see them/you once a week. That's not fair for anyone
Me:We could do that for now :-) if you'd like because I did enjoy the other night 
Bachelor # 2:I really would. I'm not someone who need to see someone everyday.
Bachelor # 2:So then, what are you doing tomorrow night?
Me:(REALLY?!? After you just said you don't need to see someone every day?)Tomorrow taking aunt to movie and lunch then have a party @ a friend's house 
early evening. Sunday I'm having some people @ my house for ida's party. What ya 
doing this weekend?
Bachelor # 2:Tomorrow I'm working Untill 8...then Sunday my vacation starts. I have a 
birthday party around 1...then a meeting at work at 6:30
Bachelor # 2:Maybe we can hang out during the week some time
Do you mind if I ask your last name?
Me:Lucivero and what is yours?
Bachelor # 2 (And yes although it does sound kind of bogus.)
Bachelor # 2:I'm not going to Facebook stalk you or I like having last names in my phone
Me:Tis ok :-)
Bachelor # 2:I forget, how old are you again? I'm sorry to ask
Me:35. You?
Bachelor # 2:32. Mind dating a younger man?
(I was at work and couldn't guess what comes next...)
Bachelor # 2:Please tell me that isn't really an issue
Bachelor # 2:Good...:-)...I'm guessing you don't work today?
Me:No, took today off as I have my aunt's party today and am getting everything 
ready. Happy vacation week to ya
Bachelor # 2:You think MAYBE I can see you this week? No pressure
Me:I am off Monday day but may have to go in at night. Am off tues & wednes nights
Bachelor # 2:What time so you get off work? Maybe we can take a talk by the beach and watch 
the corny as that
(I don't answer him)
Bachelor # 2: Did you see my teeth?
(I still don't answer him as guess what......I was BUSY)
Bachelor # 2:I have
Bachelor # 2:?
Me:? What?
Bachelor # 2:I texted you this morning, and I didn't hear back from you
Me:Have people over....and I'm entertaining. 
Bachelor # 2:Sounds like fun...wish I could be there. Ok, ill talk to you later on
(I don't reply....and then he goes on FB and sees my status! What happened to him not going to FB stalk me??)
Bachelor # 2:Sounds like you had gun last night....:-)
And there you have it. Bachelor # 2 went from being a blast from my past with being 
creepy clingy...FB-stalker dude. All within 4 days. And then he wonders why I am trying to break off 
connection with him. Thankfully I have learned from other single friends that they have been meeting many a wack-a-doo
people I know it isn't just me. But without having to put it in can guess that Bachelor # 2
has bit the dust in the romance department...which only solidifies my theory that Ex's are ex's for a reason!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Bachelor # 2-Sometimes the Universe Has a Perverse Sense of Humor

     The Universe has a sense of humor...and sometimes it is a truly twisted one. I honestly can not wrap my head around this one...and am wondering if this is the Universe trying to teach me a lesson, or perhaps bring 'Mr. Right' back to me. Because they say that if you bump in to someone three times, without planning it...that you two are supposed to be together. For those of you interested in Greek mythology, two goddess's are taking up residence in my life this past week.

Eris (Greek Ἔρις, "Strife") is the Greek goddess of strife and discord, her name being translated into Latin as Discordia. Her Greek opposite is Harmonia, whose Latin counterpart is Concordia. Homer equated her with the war-goddess Enyo, whose Roman counterpart is Bellona. The dwarf planet Eris is named after the goddess.

And my personal favorite: Artemis was one of the most widely venerated of the Ancient Greek deities. Her Roman equivalent is Diana. Some scholars[1] believe that the name, and indeed the goddess herself, was originally pre-Greek.[2] Homer refers to her as Artemis Agrotera, Potnia Theron "Artemis of the wildland, Mistress of Animals".[3] In the classical period of Greek mythology, Artemis (Greek: (nominative) Ἄρτεμις, (genitive) Ἀρτέμιδος) was often described as the daughter of Zeus and Leto, and the twin sister of Apollo. Artemis was once bathing in a vale on Mount Cithaeron, when the Theban hunter Actaeon stumbled across her. Enraged, Artemis turned him into a stag and, not knowing their own owner, Actaeon's own dogs killed him.

     But I digress. And trust me...this is all relevant to Bachelor # 2. About 10 years ago....I had taken on a seasonal job, which focused on my most favorite holiday. I have never had as much fun at work, as I did at this job...and met some really interesting people who worked there as well. When I worked there...there was this one employee, whom I thought was seriously good-looking, and he seemed to be interested in me as well. However it was purely a physical attraction. We never really dated, we never really hung out in public. But we would get together every night and fool around (no....there was no sex at that time) when we worked. I do think he would have liked to pursue something with me...however he was a little too brazen for my tame self back then. (Yes...back then I was a 'good' girl.) He would e-mail me naked photos of himself, want to have phone sex, and informed me of all the photo and video equipment he had which gave me visions of myself being broad casted and my mother somehow finding out. Needless to say, although I thought him good-looking, I had quickly cut any ties to him. Every now and then, he'd come up in thought as I reflected on all the colorful guys that had marched through my life....and mom and I would snicker over it.
      Now here I am....actively trying to date, but so bummed out by being stood up several weeks ago...I really haven't had my heart in it. And low-and-behold I get an e-mail from the dating sight I troll from time-to-time. The Bachelor # 2 whom e-mailed me seemed nice, pleasant, and like a gentleman. Appearance-wise, not exactly my cup-of-tea...but we all know that it's what's on the inside which counts, so figured I would give him a shot. So e-mails led to texts, and we tried to set our first date up...but it fell through. We did however go on our second date and it started out on rocky I thought he was standing me up and vica versa. It turned out that we were at two different StarBucks...just down the road from one another. Since my location was closing I drove down to where he was waiting with my drink (which I thought was sweet for him to ask what I wanted and have it ready for me.) And there we sat drinking our beverages, and chatting..discussing our pets, interests, and then our jobs. As we started talking about our religious beliefs, and Bachelor # 2 made a comment about his beliefs...a light bulb went off. I KNOW THIS GUY!!! I knew him and kinda dated him 10 years ago!!!
     Ex's are ex's for a reason....and this, my friends was no exception for me. Let's rewind 10 years of my when I was in my early twenties. I was a bit naive, a bit shy, and a bit sheltered. This guy I was seeing (Bachelor #2) would not want to do anything, other than be physical....have phone sex, and SEND ME NUDE PHOTOS OF HIMSELF IN EVERY POSITION IMAGINABLE. After receiving the umpteenth nude photo of himself, I decided to block him from my AOL...and quickly removed myself from his presence. And OK....I'm not a prude...but back then, I was a bit gun-shy about sharing naked photos over the net, and also very gun-shy about going to his place and possibly being photographed or videoed as he said he had all that equipment. Fast forwarding ourselves to the present, as we sit in StarBucks, I ask Bachelor # 2 a string of questions to confirm that he is indeed whom I think he is, and he confirms my suspicions that he is who he is. He seemed to have vague if any memory of me, which was fine...and I did not bring up his fascination of nude photography...but this raised a new concern in my mind...was Bachelor # 2 still into kinky e-mails, and phone sex?
     Finishing up our drinks, I agree to go on a car ride with him, out east to check out this spot which he claims has a 'different vibe to it.' And phone was not only fully charged, but I had my pepper spray, and weapon with I was fully safe. Besides the fact that he wasn't giving off any serial killer vibes off him. We sat in the moonlight, and chatted....but it felt a bit strained to me. I wasn't sure if Bachelor # 2 was trying to be all cool, and aloof, and just wanted to chat, or if he was waiting for some romantic action to take place. Regardless, I wasn't going to be getting any kind of physical with anyone on a first date (unless it was Harrison Ford or Colin Farrell.) But in Bachelor #2's defense, he did not put any moves on me, other than hold my hand, and when he took me back to my car, waited for me to make the departing gesture. What that I was impressed with.
     What does our future hold? Only time can tell....I'm not ruling him out....but I am very leery. Oh do have a twisted sense of humor!