Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Bachelor # 2...I was wrong. It's *not* me...and it *is* you

     Can someone....ANYONE please tell me where it is written that if you go on (1) one date with someone, that you're to profess your feelings for the other party and then proceed to plan the rest of your days with them? ANYONE??? Please....tell me where the dating rules have changed, that way I can know that it 'is me' who don't know how to date like a normal person.
     One date down with Bachelor # 2 and I get the 'follow-up' text from him the next day stating how much fun he had. Which was great, because I had had a nice time too and was going to text him to tell him I had enjoyed myself. So the day proceeds and we share a few texts back and forth. Then the next day comes, and my phone is bombarded with texts from Bachelor # 2 and he starts asking me what time do I finish work, and if he could see me that night or the next night. I had told him that I was not looking to rush in to any kind of relationship, and wanted to take things slow the night before. Somehow this did not feel like taking it slow....and with this...I started to feel like a wild animal trapped, trying to escape.
     Next thing I know, Bachelor # 2 starts with the term's of endearment...calling me 'baby'. Not that I have anything against using pet names for your honey, but after ONE DATE...being called 'baby' seems a bit much. When I tell Bachelor # 2 I have a meeting that night and can't meet, he wants to get together that night at 9pm. What is there to do at 9pm, for a second date? I decline and he seemed okay with it.
     Last Friday, which is three days after we first met he starts with the texts yet again while I am at work...and I try to gracefully back out of this dating scenario for several reasons (1) he is naked-photo dude from my past, and (2) he is becoming very needy and smothering. Below you get to expierence the texts which took place over 48 hours and he just gets more time-demanding, and weird. And the whole part where he asks for my last name.....PEOPLE he WENT and FRIEND REQUESTED me on FaceBook when he said he would not do so! I bring you 'The Text Files w/ Bachelor # 2'
Bachelor # 2:I wish you went going to be in jersey for Halloween. I would love to spend it 
with you.
Me:Want to come to NJ with me? I kinda committed myself there. But on 10/22 have a e:
party here for Halloween if you'd like to join me
Bachelor # 2:How long will you be down in JK for? I'm off the 22nd, so I can do that
Bachelor # 2:Jk what?You were kidding? Boo
Me:Noooooooooo. You asked how long I'd be down in JK. Did u mean NJ?
Bachelor # 2:Yeah, I ment NJ...sorry worries. I had no idea where I was 'going' it'll be an overnight trip
Bachelor # 2:Where are you staying?
Me:At my friend's house. Not sure if I'm staying at jen's or dan&phils
Bachelor # 2:Would I be sleeping on the couch?
Me:I have no idea where I'm sleeping there lol
Bachelor # 2:Lol
(I do not respond as I am busy at work)
Bachelor # 2:So, were would I sleep the? or would I just get a
Me:Slow your roll bucko lol we don't even know if we'll want to sleep in the same 
Bachelor # 2:So, think you might want to hang out tonight? If 9 isn't to late for you
Me:Can I let you know later? I have a horrific headache and just got home so am 
going to pop some advil  and try to rest. My phone is charging so I can 
still text
Bachelor # 2:No problem baby. I can give you a sholder massage. Might help it
Bachelor # 2:How are you feeling hun?
Me:(Really?!? BABY & HUN AFTER JUST 1 DATE???)I'm going to have to pass up tonight. It's gone in to a migraine. So sorry
Bachelor # 2:Don't worry about it. Just feel better so your ok for work tomorrow
Me:Ty...have a good night
Bachelor # 2:So, what are you doing today?
Me:Working until 2 then work tonight. Have to go shopping for stuff for my aunt's 
b-day party this weekend. Bachelor # 2 (however I did use his name) ....I don't think I'm going to be free to date 
ANYONE with my work schedules and my other obligations right now. And I don't 
want to waste your time finding someone who is avail for you cuz you're a great 
guy. But I would like us to stay in touch if that's ok w/ you?
Bachelor # 2:...oh It is what it is....
Me:I'm sorry, in fact I am taking myself off the site today since I realized how 
limited my time is
Bachelor # 2:Ok...
Guess ill see you around then....
Me:If you would still like to come to party on 10-22 that'd be awesome
Bachelor # 2:If you want me to.
Me:YES I do! I'm not kicking you to the curb....I just realize that right now me w/ 
anyone isn't fair to them
Bachelor # 2:I so like you, so you will have to forgive me. I'm a little hurt
Well, I'm going to be honest with you. I feel like we would be good together. I 
haven't connected with someone like I have with you. Ever if we only see 
eachother once a week for now, ill be happy with that.
(And there was the pathetic begging and guilt-trip)
Me:Plz don't be hurt. It has nothing to do with you. It has to do w/ me having 
limited personal time. I work 2 jobs and care for my aunt who has dementia (the 
beginnings). I don't want to string you or anyone along making plans and only 
being able to see them/you once a week. That's not fair for anyone
Me:We could do that for now :-) if you'd like because I did enjoy the other night 
Bachelor # 2:I really would. I'm not someone who need to see someone everyday.
Bachelor # 2:So then, what are you doing tomorrow night?
Me:(REALLY?!? After you just said you don't need to see someone every day?)Tomorrow taking aunt to movie and lunch then have a party @ a friend's house 
early evening. Sunday I'm having some people @ my house for ida's party. What ya 
doing this weekend?
Bachelor # 2:Tomorrow I'm working Untill 8...then Sunday my vacation starts. I have a 
birthday party around 1...then a meeting at work at 6:30
Bachelor # 2:Maybe we can hang out during the week some time
Do you mind if I ask your last name?
Me:Lucivero and what is yours?
Bachelor # 2 (And yes although it does sound kind of bogus.)
Bachelor # 2:I'm not going to Facebook stalk you or I like having last names in my phone
Me:Tis ok :-)
Bachelor # 2:I forget, how old are you again? I'm sorry to ask
Me:35. You?
Bachelor # 2:32. Mind dating a younger man?
(I was at work and couldn't guess what comes next...)
Bachelor # 2:Please tell me that isn't really an issue
Bachelor # 2:Good...:-)...I'm guessing you don't work today?
Me:No, took today off as I have my aunt's party today and am getting everything 
ready. Happy vacation week to ya
Bachelor # 2:You think MAYBE I can see you this week? No pressure
Me:I am off Monday day but may have to go in at night. Am off tues & wednes nights
Bachelor # 2:What time so you get off work? Maybe we can take a talk by the beach and watch 
the corny as that
(I don't answer him)
Bachelor # 2: Did you see my teeth?
(I still don't answer him as guess what......I was BUSY)
Bachelor # 2:I have
Bachelor # 2:?
Me:? What?
Bachelor # 2:I texted you this morning, and I didn't hear back from you
Me:Have people over....and I'm entertaining. 
Bachelor # 2:Sounds like fun...wish I could be there. Ok, ill talk to you later on
(I don't reply....and then he goes on FB and sees my status! What happened to him not going to FB stalk me??)
Bachelor # 2:Sounds like you had gun last night....:-)
And there you have it. Bachelor # 2 went from being a blast from my past with being 
creepy clingy...FB-stalker dude. All within 4 days. And then he wonders why I am trying to break off 
connection with him. Thankfully I have learned from other single friends that they have been meeting many a wack-a-doo
people I know it isn't just me. But without having to put it in can guess that Bachelor # 2
has bit the dust in the romance department...which only solidifies my theory that Ex's are ex's for a reason!


  1. Stage Three CLINGER, baby!!! This is not good. He is going to smother you before you even have an option to decide if you would eventually like to pursue this.

  2. Babe....I already KNOW I do NOT want to pursue this. And he isn't getting the hint. I never initate contact with him, give him short answers when he texts. Uh...hello aside from my telling him thanks but no thanks and them him suckering me in to giving him another shot BEFORE he went all STALKER on me I don't know what else to do.