Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Bachelor # 1....The Text Files

Sometimes the ones you want to stick around don't...and the ones you wish would never darken your door step again stick to you like glue. There's a Motely Cru song, and the lyrics go like this: "Girl don't go away mad....girl just go away." Well, this is a situation with Bachelor # 1 where I would apply the lyrics, substituting 'girl' for 'boy'. The nightmare of a date with Bachelor # 1 was behind me, and when I had gotten home from the date, blocked him from e-mailing me...hoping he'd get the hint. Not my luck it seems, as on Saturday, July 16th he decided to text, and angry text at that. So read on my friends...and realize that sometimes giving someone a chance isn't the wisest thing to do.

Bachelor # 1: Hey u I tryed to e-mail u on the site wats that about? Last nite was nice.

Me: Bachelor # 1 (I had used his name but am not posting it here), I can't date anyone who makes disparaging remarks about women-and who can't go any further east of Bohemia. Good luck finding the right one for you.

Bachelor # 1: What did I say that was bad like I want to live in some shit place like u do

Me: Please stop texting me.

Bachelor # 1: Your 35 your be 40 soon It's all good seeing someone cute she's 28 your 35 that's old for a gril.
Me: So what I love my life and don't need a man that's right MAN to fulfill my life. Obviously you can't meet someone because of your attitude. Please stop texting me.

Bachelor # 1: Iam seeing a 28 year old your almost 40

Me: Grow a pair, grow up and don't text me again. Btw you shouldn't use foul language when tying to impress someone. Stop texting me.

Bachelor # 1: Soon it will be to late for u to have a family so what are u to anyone

Me: Dude your pathetic and the 28 year old will run away screaming too. I couldn't wait to get away from you last night. You're lucky I didn't knock you out cold. Stop blowing up my phone or i'm calling the cops you freak!

Bachelor # 1: There are grils on the site that are in there 40s can't fine anyone to date your see but iam doing great

Me: I am now calling the cops becuz this is harassment you had fair warning.

Bachelor # 1: They not going to anything iam 35 your 35 u don't Text and will not text u see u on the site at 40 Ok do what u have to your texting to so Have fun Iam not doing anything bad later

 Me: I have now called the cops on you.

Bachelor # 1: Never text me aging and I will do the same. By have a bad life

Bachelor # 1: The creep, the incompatable, the JERK

     On Friday, July 15th I ventured out on an actual date, with an actual suitor, at an actual meeting place often selected for the first-date scene. I headed to Starbuck's straight from work, knowing that if I went home first, would not want to go out again. Arriving at the date site at exactly 8:15pm I received a phone call from Bachelor # 1, asking me if I had left my house yet, because he was going to be late. Not wanting to stress him out by telling him I was already there, I fibbed and told him 'no'. So he told me he'd text me when he was on the road, so we can leave our locations and get there at the same time. Not a big deal, right? it was a little irksome that he was unable to keep our meeting time, without a valid reason...but so-be-it. I'm flexible.
     Figuring he'd be a few minutes late, I sat at an outdoor table without a beverage, and wound up having a lovely conversation with two people at the table next to me. And time sped by. 8:30 turned to 8:40, which then turned to 8:50pm when I finally got the text stating that Bachelor # 1 was on his way, and not to leave. So I entertained myself by tweeting and texting, and by 9:15pm....Bachelor # 1 was still not in da house! Defiantly not putting his best foot forward....right? By this time I was jonsing for a Starbuck's beverage, and getting miffed that this dude still wasn't here. I text my girl LB to see if I should leave, and then proceeded to check in with my mom and get her input too as to what to do. Mom told me to 'give him a few more minutes, then to come on home.' (Yeah...I should have left then and there....but nooooooooooo.) At 9:20pm I get a call from Bachelor # 1 asking if I was there because he was there and didn't see me. So I explain where I'm sitting, and he still insists that he doesn't see me, and proceeds to ask if I am at the right location. (And ok, I didn't flip...because I can be a ditz at times, and being at 2 different locations was in fact plausible.) I ask him if he's in his car, he informs me he is, and I ask if he sees the big delivery truck right in front of Starbucks. He's all "I'm not sure, let me see", and by this point I'm wondering if he's in his car, facing the java joint, how the hell could he miss the huge delivery truck. So I get up from my table and proceed to walk to the front of the building (as I was on the side), and WHO comes popping out from INSIDE Starbucks...but Bachelor # 1! (Really? He was sitting in his car? Really? That's an amazing feat, if his car was inside the building!) He's all "I see you!" And proceeds to hang up. I extend my hand in greeting and he swoops in to hug me. (At this point dude....the hug is not the way to go.)
     Instead of offering to buy drinks right away, he heads to the table where I had been sitting waiting on him...and launches in to his schpeel declaring and I quote: "you're're real cute. I can defiantly see myself dating you....because you're cute. And oh look, you got that little thing in your hair which matches your shirt. Yeah, I could deff see myself dating you." All said in one breath as he gestured wildly with his hands and arms at me. Bachelor #1 had very definitive plans on which towns he would live in WITH his parents, and how he refuses to travel east of Bohemia (the town we had met in for the date from hell) because anything east of Bohemia is "a real shit hole." Yep...this guy was coming off as a real gem. I asked him if he was aware that my town is east of Bohemia...and he said, "yeah...but that's ok." Then he launched in to how he NEVER goes in to Sayville...because it is full of gays, and that he refused to go to a town which was filled with gays, and did I know about those people hanging out in Sayville? I don't know how I did it, but I refrained from smacking him in his face and leaving. (1) I have people in my family who are homosexual, and (2) 80% of my male friends are needless to say I am very tolerant and accepting and love these people. Bachelor # 1then proceeded to ask me about my recent dating experiences, and I informed him that I had taken a little bit of a break, so I could focus on me, which seemed to be the most absurd thing he ever heard because he not only almost fell off his seat, but felt compelled to inform me that (quoting once again) "At your age, you can't be taking time off like that. You're almost 40 years old!"
     By this point we were half way through the tortuous date from hell, and I was trying to find a way to wrap it up, besides jonsing for a hot drink...and a hot shower to wash this whole experience away. Bachelor # 1 finally realizes it might be smart to offer me a drink...since this was indeed a coffee date. However I declined, only to shorten the date, and trying to figure out how to run for my car without him tailing me like a puppy. Bachelor # 1 then decided to try to see what my interests are and I filled him in on my interests and hobbies. He was impressed and stated that I keep myself busy. I only felt it fair to inquire about his and...let me tell ya...there is no way I could have dealt with him. Bachelor # 1 hangs out at home....goes to his 'one friend's house to hang out', plays video games, and likes movies. I asked him what he does for a living and he informed me about his job and his 'little part time job at the outlet which he got fired from this past winter, when he worked for Juicy Cotour, and all the little Juicy bitches'. Really? Really? Calling women bitches is a way to snag a second date? When we discussed movie theaters, he put down every theater I go to...calling them shit holes, and told me "I only go to the Commack theater, but they're tearing it down at the end of the summer."
     It was just about 10pm, and there was absolutely no way I could endure another minute in his presence. Although I knew there'd never be a second date...didn't want to set this wack-o I told him it was nice meeting him. Bachelor # 1 was stupefied that I was going home at 10pm, and actually said to me (quoting again) "What? A single girl like you is going home alone at 10pm? If you want, we can do something else." Firmly I told him I needed to get some school work done, and had an early morning coming up. He 'understood', and walked me to my car...asking me questions on it such as "What year is it? Is it fully loaded? How many miles do you get?" WHILE he was walking past my suv, and I was stopped AT my vehicle!I was like "Uh....what are you looking at? This is my suv." He was just like "oh." And then once again proceeded to inform me "you're're real cute. I can defiantly see myself dating you....because you're cute." Again I stuck my hand out to say good night to this bozo...knowing full well what his move would be, and he grabbed me in a hug. I sat in my truck for a minute, trying to decide if I should go through the drive-thru and get a coffee, and watched in disbelief as Bachelor # 1 walked back, in to Starbuck's. Foregoing my Frappacino...I headed home, because like Dorothy said as she clicked her heels together: "THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!!!"


Monday, July 11, 2011

Bachelor # 1....not seeming like a fore-runner

     I have a date. Yes I do! When is it going to take place, I have no bloody clue. One of the guys I am talking to on-line which has now advanced to brief phone conversations and I have set up a date. We will call this dude Bachelor # 1 (to protect his identity, and to keep my ass from being sued.) He seems a bit eager, what with sending me 2 e-mails in a matter of 5 minutes which included his phone number...but that's ok. Because may he's nervous. So anyway Bachelor # 1 and I share a phone call today which according to my cell log, lasted 17 minutes and consisted mainly of his talking a-mile-a-minute.

Here are some of the things that kind of raised a red flag to me...and let me know if you think I'm making more of it than I should:

  • He talked about a woman whom he was supposed to meet with, and she blew him off. He then proceeded to say some rude-ish comments about her.
  • He complained about all these women on the dating site who had kids. He doesn't need to be on a date with someone whose kid keeps calling.
  • Kept mentioning my looks...and about a woman dressing 'nice.'
     Bachelor # 1 and I wound up setting a date to meet for coffee on Wednesday night around 7:30-8:00. I'm not sure if this is a good match, but what the heck. It's a good date to get back in the game. But then I start getting texts from him. He wanted to move our coffee date from Wednesday to tonight, because 'he has plans' for Wednesday. Meanwhile I had already told him tonight and Friday night were both not good for me....when we were on the phone. So then he was pushing for Friday night, and I figured I could make that work. But then when I was out he text's me AGAIN...asking to move the date to Saturday, which I have plans that night (but hadn't told him.)

       Being the courteous person I am...and really trying to give this guy a chance,when he asked to meet for Saturday told him that was fine. However I asked to meet at 12, noon as I have to be in Levitttown later in the day. Needless to say my response from him was "We'll work it out," but somehow I feel like this isn't going to be worked out and is turning in to a chore of even meeting.

Single girl pushed back in to the dating scene by at 11

     OK, I admit it. I have been avoiding the dating scene like the plague. I don't think I was consciously doing it but none-the-less I wasn't really putting myself 'out there' and in the places to find a guy. Perhaps it's because I am selfish, and enjoying my life the way it is...answering to no one, doing what I want....when I I want. Maybe it's because a few years back I was burned by one guy (kinda sorta), and then really burned by another guy (who as my one friend M. calls, an ass hat.) Regardless of whatever the reason is, I wasn't getting out and meeting guys, yet wondering where 'Mr. Right' was hiding, and when he would realize his 'Ms. Right' (me was right here waiting for his late ass to show up.)
     I always joke with M. that Colin Farrell is my soul-mate, and he just needs to bump in to me, and realize we're meant for one another.But at the age of 35 years long am I really supposed to wait for Colin Farrell to find me, and realize he can't live without me?
     My other friend L.B. thrust herself in to the dating scene, and has opted for the on-line dating route. I didn't know this until she was hanging out at my house one night. I love L.B. dearly, and she is always up to trying new things and is also a bit overly persuasive...if you know what I mean. Which for someone with my laid back personality is a good thing. So as we were discussing her latest dating endeavors, she coerced me to sign up on the same on-line dating site and see who & what was waiting out there to make contact with me. I have to admit...that I was very leery of doing this...especially on this particular site...but I let her coerce me anyway.
     So here I am. Back to dating. At the tender age of 35. Which has also prompted me to start a new blog site. Because that's all I really need, right. To manage 3 blog sites??? I haven't gone on any actual dates as of yet...and I'm a bit nervous to really meet. But I can let you all know that I have been communicating via e-mail with a few (seemingly) nice guys. I've yet to make it to the actual meeting point...but hope to do so soon. And of course there are also the blatantly obnoxious, scary, and out-right weird characters out there. Some I've blocked...some I've just ignored. But I will keep you all posted, and be brutally honest with how it goes. Because we all need & deserve love in our life.

Don't we?